Friends II: Reunion of Fate
by Malthir
Summary: A sequel to the massively popular 'Friends' sitcom. A recurrent episode of kidney stones in Joey leads the gang on another hilarious romp of misadventure.


Friends II: Reunion of Fates

 **Chapter 1**

It was a casual sunny Wednesday afternoon at Monica's apartment. The Friends were all enjoying a fine game of scrabble on the kitchen table. Well, almost all of them. Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross were all present, but the sixth Friend, Joey, was not accounted for.

'Could Joey _be_ any more behind schedule?' roared Chandler to a hilarious reception.

'I agree,' concurred Ross, 'we don't know where he is. I am worried.'

'Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be all right, he's Joey after all!' exclaimed Phoebe, excitedly.

'Well, he's not the brightest bulb in the shed!' replied Chandler wittingly.

'Rachel, where do you think he could be?' asked Monica.

The four of them turned to look towards Rachel, who was unkemptly twirling her hair, bereft of attention towards the preceding conversation.

'Huh, did you say something?' said Rachel.

'Oh Rachel!' laughed Monica, and then they all laughed in unison.

Suddenly, the door to Monica's apartment swung open. In strode Joey, a stern look on his face, clutching his left loin. He let out a sigh of agony as soon as he entered the apartment.

'Joey are you okay!' cried Monica.

'Somebody get me a doctor!' cried out Joey in pain.

'I'm a doctor!' said Ross, standing up eagerly, attempting to rise to the occasion in what way he can.

'Sit down Ross,' sighed Rachel, 'you're not a doctor, you're a palaeontologist!'

'Oh…' said Ross, as everybody laughed and he sat back down.

Joey let out another groan of agony. 'Oh God, it hurts! Won't someone just get me a doctor? A real doctor!' he said, indenting an accusing nod towards his friend Ross as he stated the last sentence.

Chandler stood up and strode towards Joey, placing a hand on his shoulder. 'What seems to be the matter, buddy? Why do you need to see a doctor?'

'Well, you see,' said Joey, breathing slowly as he took a gulp, 'I've been having this really bad pain, here in my sides! It's just like that time I had kidney stones, I think I might have them again! I went to the toilet earlier today, and I was peeing blood!'

'Gee, that does sound bad!' said Chandler, offering a sympathetic look of concern, 'I guess we had better take you to the hospital!' Turning towards Ross, Chandler said 'Ross, we need to take Joey to the hospital. Do you want to get your car ready?'

Ross stood up and flung his arms by his sides expressing a look of exasperation. 'A car!? Who owns a car in New York City?' He snorted with a laugh.

'Oh my God you guys are crazy!' shouted Phoebe hysterically, 'I'm going to call an ambulance, stay right here!' Phoebe ran away to grab the phone that was placed besides the kitchen counter.

Monica sat at the table, ever panicky as always, 'Oh dear Rachel, Joeys in trouble, what are we going to do?' she sighed heftily.

'Huh, what's going on?' said Rachel looking up, as she was twirling her hair.

'Oh Rachel!' laughed Monica, and they all succeeded that with another laugh in unison, except for Joey who let out another lurching groan of pain.

Rushing past, Phoebe called everyone's attention, 'Okay guys, I called the ambulance, they're on their way! Joey, can you hold on?'

Joey let out another groan, 'I don't know, it hurts real bad, Phoebs!'

'Oh, I know what to do!' cried Phoebe, as she pulled out her guitar from under the table, 'I'll sing to you! That should help the pain pass.' She began striking chords on the guitar as she let out a tune, _'Smelly cat! Smelly cat!'_

Everyone let out a groan of misery, echoing Joeys, as they were forced to endure Phoebe's sub-par music skills.

'I think we all know what it feels like to be Joey now!' exclaimed Chandler, causing an eruption of laughter.

'Could that _be_ any more of a bad song!?' said Chandler, following up with another hilarious zinger as the crew once more let out a chorus of laughs.

…

Hours later, Joey was lying on a bed in a hospital ward.

'Oh, the pain!' cried out Joey, 'make it stop! When is the doctor coming?'

'Quiet Joey! He'll be here soon, stop making a fuss,' said Rachel, reprimanding Joey as she sat on a nearby chair, playing games on her iphone to pass the time.

The door opened, and in stepped the doctor wearing a white coat and a stethoscope around his shoulders.

'Mr Tribiani,' said the doctor, holding up an x-ray photograph to the light, 'I'm afraid you've got kidney stones.'

Joey gulped exasperatedly, 'Well, uh, what else could it be?'

'It's kidney stones…' said the doctor smiling.

'Or…?' replied Joey, hoping for some reprieve.

'Kidney stones!' replied the doctor with finality, as he turned back to look at his x-ray photographs and write notes on his chart.

'Oh, I can't believe this is all happening to me again! It was all so painful last time!' exclaimed Joey.

Chandler stood up and walked to a chair by the door, grabbing his coat, then turned to Monica. 'Hey Monica, I'm going to go pick our kids up from school. You stay here with Joey, make sure you have a bag if he throws up again.'

'Okay!' replied Monica, as Chandler left the room, and then turned towards Joey. 'Are you okay, I know it's quite painful,' she said empathetically.

Moments after Chandler had left, Ross walked back in. 'What's going on?' said Ross.

'Kidney stones!' replied the doctor, as he turned towards Ross and then headed out the door.

'What's up Ross?' asked Phoebe, 'you were gone for a long time, where were you?'

Ross let out a sigh and a chuckle, 'Oh I was just talking to my ex-wife on my phone, out in the hall way.'

'Which ex-wife?' replied Phoebe, 'you've been married so many times!' They all let out a hearty chuckle.

'It was Carol!' said Ross, shaking his head, 'she and Susan, they're going to sue for full custody of my son, Ben!'

'Oh no, that's terrible,' said Monica, 'what are you going to do about it?'

'Well, there's not much I can do,' sighed Ross, 'at least I'll always have my daughter with Rachel, Emma.'

Monica turned to Rachel, 'By the way Rachel, where is Emma?' she said frowning.

Rachel did not hear, she was too busy playing games on her phone and twirling her hair, when she noticed everyone looking at her. 'Hmm? What's going on?' she said, confused.

'Rachel, where is Emma?' asked Ross.

'Emma? Oh, right, I left her in the car. Why?' replied Rachel, carelessly.

'Rachel!' exclaimed Ross in frustration, 'you can't do that!'

'Why?' replied Rachel, 'I rolled down the windows a little bit. What's the big deal?'

'Rachel!' exclaimed Ross again.

'Fine!' Rachel relented, 'I'll go get Emma from the car! Sheesh…'

'Oh Rachel, you're so silly and forgetful!' said Monica, as she and Phoebe laughed, and Joey let out another groan of pain.

…

It was late at night in Joey's hospital room, he was sound asleep, with the other 5 Friends sitting on nearby chairs. Chandler and Ross were flipping through channels on the television screen, while the others sat in silence. They heard some footsteps outside and the door swung open yet again, as the doctor entered once more.

'Mr Joey Tribiani…' spoke the doctor, softly.

'Yes,' said Joey as he was slowly aroused awake, and rubbed his eyes, 'what is it? Kidney stones, right?'

'Yes, that is correct,' said the doctor with a sullen expression, 'that is the good news however. I'm afraid there is also some bad news.'

'Oh my gosh, what could it be?' said Monica, quite afraid.

'This is some serious news, are you sure you want your Friends here?' said the doctor to Joey.

'Yes, just tell me what's going on!' said Joey.

'Well, earlier today we ran you through some CT and MRI scans to make sure you didn't have any cancer in your bladder. However our MRI also showed significant cerebral atrophy,' replied the doctor.

'What does that mean,' said Joey.

'Well, we suspect you likely have advanced Alzheimer's Disease. I know it must come as a shock to someone young like you, but it can sometimes occur early in younger people,' replied the doctor.

'So you're saying, I… I have Alzheimer's…?' replied Joey, his mouth agape.

'Yes,' replied the doctor, sullenly.

'But… what does this mean? How can this be?' said Joey looking downwards and around the room, a confused expression in his face.

'Tell me Mr Tribiani, have you noticed any changes over the past few years? Forgetting things more often, forgetting names, items, can't do mathematical equations.'

'Actually, yes,' replied Monica, 'its strange you should mention that. Over the past ten years, we've noticed a progressive decline in Joey's, let's say… mental capabilities.'

'He's been getting inexplicably stupider,' said Chandler, 'I guess this explains it now.'

'It does, Joey, you have dementia,' said the doctor. 'I can come back in the morning to give you more information, but I'm afraid you will have this for the rest of your life. Your memory and cognitive ability will steadily decline, as it has been doing over the past ten years. We will need to find you a carer, someone who can care for you in the more advanced stages of the disease.'

The doctor then stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him.

'Oh no, we're going to have to take care of Joey!' said Phoebe. She turned to Joey, 'Aww buddy, how are you feeling? I know this must be all a bitter pill to swallow.' She paused for a moment, then said 'I know!' as she pulled out her guitar, eager to play another song.

'Phoebe, no, not now,' said Ross quietly, shaking his head at her.

With a glum expression, Phoebe put her musical instrument away and silence filled the room.

'I thought… I thought I was just coming in with kidney stones,' said Joey, 'and now I'm leaving with Alzheimer's.' A tear streamed down his face as he could no longer think of any words to fill the air. Monica clasped his hand reassuringly, as Chandler turned to his friend. A joke, a witty anecdote, a playful pun, anything he tried to think of to cheer up Joey. Nothing, nothing came to his mind, but the barren silence that descended upon them like a cold curtain.


End file.
